What Not To Say To A Grieving Parent
Posted by: Steve Hardwick
Date: Aug 05 2018 5:15 PM
I’d like to share something that is only my opinion but it comes from listening to hundreds of grieving parents who have lost a child and that includes pregnancy loss that unfortunately some don’t consider the loss of a child.
Well It Is The Loss Of A Child So Please Never Tell The Parents who lost a child from miscarriage that they can try again.
Yes they can....But they wanted THAT CHILD !!!
Let me first say I have not lost a child Thank God so though I have spoken to hundreds of parents that by no means makes me understand how a parent feels who lost a child.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY FEEL AND IF YOU HAVEN’T LOST A CHILD THEN NEITHER DO YOU
So what I’m sharing with you comes from parents who have lost a child and after hearing the same things over and over I thought it might be a good thing if I shared their feelings with each of you.
I pray they agree and approve of my post.
#1 Please never tell a grieving parent ...
I Know How You Feel
Unless you have lost a child you don’t have a clue. So don’t go there even though you have the best of intentions.
#2 Don’t Tell them that...
Your child is in a better place.
All of us with a Christian Faith know that Heaven is a much better place than here but a child dying before their parents is not the natural order of Life so even though deep down they know Heaven is a better place they would much rather have their child right their with them for now.
Heaven Can Wait
#3 Don’t Tell a parent.....
Well you have other children.
I have 3 children and as much as I love each one if something were ever to happen to one, the other two could never replace my feelings for the one I lost.
#4 Don’t Tell a grieving parent..
God will never give you more than you can handle.
No where in the Bible does it say that.... but it is said many times to grieving parents.
“ So, where did the phrase about God not giving us too much come from? To answer that question, we need to go back 2,000 years to a small church in the city of Corinth. The Apostle Paul wrote them a few letters, and in his first letter, he reminded them that all people are tempted and often choose to do the wrong thing. Paul’s warning is tied to the reality of temptation and sin that meets us everyday.
With his warning he also gave a promise. He wrote, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is the verse that is so often misquoted”
#5 No matter how much time has passed never tell a parent
You should be over it by now
It doesn’t matter if their loss happened yesterday or 50 years ago.
The pain is the same
#6 Don’t Tell a grieving parent that...
God needed your child more than they did.
Every loving parent feels that their child needs them.
They wanted to be there for them on their first day of school, the first time their heart gets broken, first day of college, when they need advice, when their tummy hurts, to walk them down the aisle, to have grandchildren
#7 A grieving parent doesn’t need advice so don’t tell them....
Stay Strong or Each Day Will Get Better
#8 “ Give me a call if you need me”
Nope don’t say that either.
Just know that they do need you so go ahead and find ways to help them
#9 Don’t be afraid to ask them about their child...
They want their child to always be remembered and never forgotten so ask them about their child.....
they would love to tell you all about their beautiful child.
#10 Let a parent who just lost a child from pregnancy loss grieve. So many mothers told me they didn’t feel like they could grieve because no one would understand.
Once a child is conceived that is THEIR CHILD.
No matter if the child dies in the womb or outside of the womb...
That Was Their Child !!!
So what should you say?
Just let them know you care
And every one needs a Hug ..
A Real Hug ❤️❤️
Not one of those quickie hugs that feels emotionless